Episode 14 | Words Are More Dangerous Than Weapons: Master the Power of Speech

Episode 14 | Words Are More Dangerous Than Weapons: Master the Power of Speech

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00:00:00 Courtney: Welcome to the Students of Life podcast, where we explore the lessons hidden in everyday life and show you how to run your life like a business. I'm Courtney and with me is the queen of my dreams, the wife of my life, the sensational Erica.

00:00:15 Erica: Uh, well. Hello. Oh, my. What an intro.

00:00:21 Courtney: I know right?

00:00:22 Erica: You did good that time.

00:00:24 Courtney: Yeah. You like that?

00:00:25 Erica: It only took, like, fourteen episodes in.

00:00:29 Courtney: Look, look. My birthday. That's my birthday gift from me to you.

00:00:33 Erica: Oh.

00:00:34 Courtney: Yeah. So my birthday gift was giving you a gift of a hell of an introduction.

00:00:40 Erica: That was good.

00:00:41 Courtney: Do you want to do that? Every episode of the question?

00:00:43 Erica: Yes, actually, I'll take that.

00:00:50 Courtney: I know you like that.

00:00:52 Erica: That was quite beautiful. Yeah.

00:00:54 Courtney: So, how's everything going?

00:00:56 Erica: Everything is great. Busy. You know, we took a took a month off to reorganize some things, but we're back.

00:01:02 Courtney: Yeah. Realigned. Refocused. You know, some things, you know, um, to get student life on track the way that it needs to be or or better, let's put it like that.

00:01:11 Erica: More so better.

00:01:12 Courtney: More so

00:01:12 Erica: Yeah. We took a thirty something hiatus, but it's okay. We're back.

00:01:17 Courtney: Yeah.

00:01:17 Erica: And everything is aligned. And now we're good to go.

00:01:20 Courtney: Yes.

00:01:21 Erica: We you know, remove some things, combine some other things and make some other things even better.

00:01:25 Courtney: Or make it make sense because podcasting isn't what most people think it is.

00:01:29 Erica: It is not. You know, at one time I thought just sitting down and talking was all a podcast was until I got into the, as you say, the business of.

00:01:39 Courtney: That's correct.

00:01:40 Erica: Yeah. And the business of has taught my ass a lot.

00:01:42 Courtney: Yeah. And I helped you along the way.

00:01:44 Erica: Absolutely. But you normally do, though.

00:01:46 Courtney: I'll help you along the way to let you understand. It's not as simple as just, hey, we're just going to hit record and we put it out. It never works like that. It's never that easy. We can do that. No, but it's never that easy.

00:01:58 Erica: Well, you know, we we say that we can do that, but I honestly don't think it's in us to do that. I don't think that we physically can.

00:02:06 Courtney: No we can't. And I know personally from just me, I couldn't because I always knew things are never as easy as they appear.

00:02:16 Erica: Man. But you know how sometimes you just hope maybe, maybe this one thing will be that easy thing. This one thing is probably the second hardest thing I've done in my life.

00:02:25 Courtney: No.

00:02:26 Erica: Seriously.

00:02:27 Courtney: Thing is, I very seldom think about things like that.

00:02:29 Erica: Yeah, but I do.

00:02:30 Courtney: Yeah. And I try to help you navigate, like. Hey. So, um, I think the best way to describe it is so we don't have, like, these hopes that it's going to be so simple. And then when it gets, you know, astronomically harder, we, we shut down mentally because that's, that's a big part of what can happen to damn astronomically.

00:02:52 Erica: You know what? That's a good way to describe this.

00:02:54 Courtney: But for real, though, that's that's what can happen. You know, when the task looks way larger than what it is.

00:03:01 Erica: You people shut.

00:03:02 Courtney: Down. You can shut.

00:03:02 Erica: Down. Yeah, I agree with that.

00:03:04 Courtney: So. So tell us, what are we doing today?

00:03:08 Erica: Oh, today is a good one y'all. So today we are talking about how words are more powerful than weapons. So today we're going to be unpacking why your mouth might be the most powerful weapon you have and how to use it to heal instead of harm. But what if we learned how to use words with intention, like tools that build and not bombs that burn? You know, like Proverbs eighteen to twenty one says, the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Or Proverbs twelve and eighteen, those who speak without thinking. But the words of the wise will bring healing.

00:03:53 Courtney: You know. You know, big part of this episode is really to address the fact that I'm not going to lie. It's always something I'm pissed off about. I'm not going to lie. And it inspires, you know, a lot of these episodes because it's like certain parts that really need to be addressed. And like within this episode, you know, when people say, you know, um, words, you know, are just words and they mean nothing, you know, they shouldn't let it affect us. Like, that is the most absurd thing that I've heard in a very long time. And the reason, when you use the proverbs, it pisses me off when I hear Christians say that.

00:04:36 Erica: Oh yeah.

00:04:36 Courtney: When I hear Christians say that. But we have, you know, you know, say things. Those are just the most famous, biblical, verses Versus that are that are used. But there are so many others within the Bible that talks about the power of the tongue and how dangerous language is.

00:04:53 Erica: Oh, absolutely.

00:04:55 Courtney: But so to the Christians out there, the ones that say that, please remember those scriptures.

00:05:04 Erica: Yeah.

00:05:04 Courtney: Remember those scriptures because words are very powerful and they're very dangerous. And this the part of this episode is to definitely talk about the the power of words and even to an extent, the origins of it. That's what we call the etymology of of words too.

00:05:22 Erica: Mhm. So yeah, you know, I think um, oftentimes you know you brought it up. But I'll reiterate a little bit how we talk about how, you know, words are just words. Well, I didn't mean anything by what I said or I didn't know that my words would make you feel that way or make you react like, violently we'll say right.

00:05:46 Courtney: Mhm.

00:05:47 Erica: Well you know there, there is scientific proof you know, that says words and physical violence. They both leave the same scars on people like same emotional and psychological scars on people.

00:05:58 Courtney: Yeah they do. It rewires the brain. It does if used consistently, it will rewire the brain to only see just that thing.

00:06:07 Erica: Yeah.

00:06:08 Courtney: Yep.

00:06:09 Erica: And, you know, it's it's frightening to know that there are people out here, adults who still believe that idiotic ass thought that words are just words when literally words have words have both. Cost will started wars. Words have also brought peace. But more times, often than not, there are many negative connotations and outcomes when words are used. I mean, if you look at where we're at, you know, politically right now, words cost all this shit.

00:06:40 Courtney: And they, uh, and they will continue to, but, um, like like this. And this is not to stay here. I'm going to use like Aisha Carey for, for instance. You know, I'm just going to use that, you know, I don't mind anyone feeling how they feel, but there are power in words, you know, because some things, it's not that they're sad, it's where they're sad, which causes problems to.

00:07:08 Erica: Okay.

00:07:08 Courtney: You know, so say, for instance, uh, if you say something like that, we got to have a discussion when we get home. When you get home. Well, you know what I'm saying? We got to have a discussion.

00:07:17 Erica: Okay. But there I would never publicly say the things that she said about about her relationship and her marriage and how she feels, because.

00:07:25 Courtney: That's what I would ask you. Would you do.

00:07:26 Erica: It? Of course I wouldn't know. But also right there, it's different because our foundation is different. You know, our foundation is one that's built off of love, respect and communication.

00:07:36 Courtney: Yeah.

00:07:36 Erica: Like not necessarily in that order, but, you know, um, and the fact that I respect you as my husband, as a man. Whatever grievances I have with you, I'm going to bring them to you. I'm not going to go to a family member or a friend or, God forbid, the fucking internet and air out my grievances with my husband there. I just just me being who I am. That's not something that I would do.

00:08:00 Courtney: And so I'm not saying that to to crap on her. I'm not. But what I am saying is that, um, with with a scenario like that, those words have power and say, for instance, that where you or I, I wouldn't want my kids one day to question like, mm, you didn't want us.

00:08:21 Erica: Exactly.

00:08:22 Courtney: Even if it didn't mean that.

00:08:24 Erica: Exactly.

00:08:24 Courtney: Even if it didn't mean that, what I'm saying is words have power and how they're constructed have a lot of power. That's what I'm pointing out. And it could have been saved for another or another space. So it wouldn't have been so public because that's what people are really attaching themselves to. You know, everyone who has an opinion. It was how the the words were structured together that made it sound so bad. Words have power.

00:08:50 Erica: Words do have power. But you know, I think. And then I will say this from being a woman, right? Like, I think everyone knows by now. Like outside of here, I work in a form of corporate America. I work for a large corporation. Correct. Right. Um, but having a platform. Right. And knowing that I chose the life that I chose, whatever regrets I have, I feel like those regrets would be on me. You know what I mean? Like, if she wanted to be an actress or if she wanted to not be a mother, that's fine. But the fact that you have children and shit lives on the internet forever. There's just some things I feel like you shouldn't shed. Whatever her and Steph got going on. Cool. You want to blast him? That's fine. But don't. Don't bring your kids into it. Because one day that clip is on YouTube. It's not going to die. It's not going anywhere. That clip is on TikTok. You know what I mean? So her girls are going to grow up and when they they're going to hear, my mama didn't want us.

00:09:48 Courtney: I think what's worse, is we're living in a, in the age of the internet. Well, we've been in it for a while and for a while, but you get where I'm coming from when I say it's not just the kids hearing it, it's when other kids that they know hear it.

00:10:03 Erica: Oh, yeah.

00:10:04 Courtney: And they bring it to them.

00:10:06 Erica: Absolutely.

00:10:07 Courtney: You know, you know, it's something, a phrase in a way where people get to have an opinion about it and it was dangerous.

00:10:14 Erica: Or, you know, God dangerous, God forbid. You know, in the age, kids, we didn't have to deal with this growing up like that. But, you know, the age in which kids live today, part of the problem there, too, would could very easily be the fact that you have now given children ammo to bully your children.

00:10:28 Courtney: Yeah.

00:10:29 Erica: You know, I mean, and and it's like it's not all some bullshit. It's factual because you said it, you know, the words that a child could say something like, well, at least my parents wanted me.

00:10:40 Courtney: Damn, that hits hard.

00:10:42 Erica: Damn.

00:10:43 Courtney: Now, now, those are fighting words. Look. Words as weapons. Those are fighting words, right?

00:10:50 Erica: Absolutely. It's going to cause one or two things, right? The child's either going to react. If it was Trinity, they would react violently. Just be real.

00:10:58 Courtney: We know how this.

00:10:59 Erica: Train would rock somebody real quick. Yeah, but you know, we don't know these children, right? So God forbid it has an opposite effect, you know, and it makes them depressed. And then one day they're not here.

00:11:14 Courtney: So one missed phrase thing can really trickle down into multiple things. And that's why, you know, so those words can cause many other words to cause more damage down the line.

00:11:29 Erica: Yes, absolutely.

00:11:30 Courtney: And it has to. We have to recognize the power that's within us and that's at our disposal. And we can't discredit the the, the danger or the power that's in it. We can't do that very often. But it also comes down to we use these words or our language so frequently that we're disconnected from its origins to a degree. Like, we don't know where some of the, you know, like the basics of our words come from. I'm not saying this like I'm a linguist or anything, but say, for instance, Erica, like this right here we use like the word spell or spelling. We say spelling.

00:12:10 Erica: Mhm.

00:12:11 Courtney: Well, the origin or the meaning of spell from the get go was only to tell a story.

00:12:17 Erica: Mhm.

00:12:18 Courtney: That's what it started out as. I don't know if this is a term but it was like a historical reframing of the word. And so it moved away from its origin and started to shift into anything. And this is what happened with most words. Most words end.

00:12:34 Erica: They lose their original meaning.

00:12:35 Courtney: They correct. That's what ends up happening, you know. And so now, you know, then spell, you know, came down to like, uh, like incantations and things like that, you know what I'm saying? You know, it started to represent something of power. Yes. No words is.

00:12:52 Erica: Power transmutation almost.

00:12:53 Courtney: Yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's that's what, what ended up happening, and we forgot, you know, what those things meant. And we would go into, like, say, for instance, this right here, you know, so we say spell, but then we get spelling out of it. And once it hit the safe instance from spell to spelling, it was something totally different, because now it became just this thing to just recite words or to remember words or letters. And now it was moved away from its original meaning.

00:13:30 Erica: Mainstream? Yes. Correct. You know, but there there's a small subset of people out here, right, who look at spells and spelling for what it actually is. Mhm. Um, you know, and there are those of us who understand that not only the words that we speak out loud, but those that we write have power, um, and they have power to, to move energy to shift, to shift relationships. You know, people who, who believe in manifestation, right? Like, maybe you're not into witchcraft at all, you know, hoodoo, voodoo, Wiccan, whatever. Yeah. But the fact that that you pick up your Bible and you pray your words have power. You know, you believe in the power of the tongue for that, though, right? Like, for for that. It's okay. Whenever you're using the Bible for your your needs or to gain whatever you you may, you may need or whatever you may want. Then it's okay to use words in that that way. But when you out here and you saying, you know, if you, your mama, your dad, granny and your dad granddaddy, now I want to beat your ass because your words have the same power, right? You know, I mean, it's powerful. It sounds funny, but. But it's true.

00:14:47 Courtney: Yes.

00:14:47 Erica: You know, so the same way, you know, where we're praying at a funeral or we're praying in church, or I can go a step further. You know, if you want to bring bring up Christians the same way you're in church and you're at that altar and you're repeating an incantation over and over again, and then what happens? Something takes over you. You have invited something in using your words. That is why you speak tongues.

00:15:14 Courtney: That is correct.

00:15:15 Erica: It's because you have invited some spirit of some form into you to take over you. But you don't believe the words have power.

00:15:23 Courtney: But this right here, you know it's say, for instance, we're on that one. Look at it like, say for instance, like we use the word gospel.

00:15:33 Erica: Mhm.

00:15:35 Courtney: And I'm and I'm going to lead into, you know um like the beginning and ending of words to, to really shape this. But this is where we're going to begin at. So say for instance like the word spell, you know, you know at one point meant, you know, powerful words or some form of incantation, words of power or organize in some way.

00:15:57 Erica: Right.

00:15:58 Courtney: To, to give, you know, some type of result. That's what it was for.

00:16:01 Erica: Correct.

00:16:02 Courtney: But now we use the word gospel and it has the word spell in it.

00:16:08 Erica: Mhm.

00:16:08 Courtney: So you had gospel.

00:16:10 Erica: Mhm.

00:16:11 Courtney: And where the people want to believe it or not. It actually kind of like bridges the gap gospel bridges the gap between the spiritual and the magical world.

00:16:24 Erica: Mhm.

00:16:25 Courtney: And we only look at it as if it's a Christian or a, um, or a religious thing. Not just Christian, but a religious thing, because it's right.

00:16:36 Erica: What?

00:16:36 Courtney: What? Yeah, because because gospel is not just, you know, it's.

00:16:39 Erica: Not just for.

00:16:39 Courtney: Christians, but a religious thing, but it bridges the gap because originally what it was gospel was actually God's spell.

00:16:48 Erica: Mhm.

00:16:49 Courtney: Which means, you know, good, good saying or good story. That's what it originally was.

00:16:55 Erica: Well that's, that's when the stories were around before they were in written form.

00:16:59 Courtney: Correct.

00:16:59 Erica: Yeah.

00:17:00 Courtney: But then it turned over into something a little different, you know. And now it became gospel for its uses now, but it's still to invoke a, a spirit in some way because we're trying to reach beyond ourself.

00:17:17 Erica: Mhm.

00:17:18 Courtney: And there's this separation today, you know like say for instance when we talk about, you know um magical things and why we don't like them. They've been separated so much that we forgot where it was actually connected to. From the get go. Yes, they are connected. They've always been connected. And so the origin. Say, this is what it is. It's just us who separated it and said that it's something totally different.

00:17:43 Erica: You know, according to the perfect example of that are those who practice hoodoo. Yeah. Because hoodoo, you've seen it firsthand, you know, and hoodoo. Most of the spell work again. Spell s p e l l comes from the Book of Psalms.

00:17:57 Courtney: Right?

00:17:58 Erica: The Book of Psalms is nothing more literally, if you read it, the Book of Psalms is nothing more than incantations to get what you need and what you and what you want.

00:18:10 Courtney: I got one for you too.

00:18:12 Erica: Okay?

00:18:14 Courtney: The power of words and life based off biblical principles. Or the story based off the power of words. The world was built off of words. The moment he said, let there be light.

00:18:28 Erica: Let there be light. Yes.

00:18:29 Courtney: And then it was.

00:18:32 Erica: Yes.

00:18:32 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? Yes. The power of words. The. The world was built off the power of words.

00:18:41 Erica: Oh. I mean, worlds have also.

00:18:43 Courtney: Been destroyed.

00:18:44 Erica: Based off.

00:18:45 Courtney: The power of words, you know. And so we forget, you know, even in our own teachings and our own things that we go to, to school for. We go to church for we forget.

00:18:57 Erica: Yeah.

00:18:58 Courtney: That these words have power. I go into another one, say, for instance, like Elohim, Elohim is um, what that means is God. Yes, that means God. But look at this right here. Look at every other word that has the word el in it, like electron electricity. You know what I'm saying?

00:19:19 Erica: These are all energetic forces.

00:19:20 Courtney: Energetic forces. Words of power.

00:19:22 Erica: Yes.

00:19:24 Courtney: Or we'll even use like, biblical terms like Samuel. You know what I'm saying? Elijah starts with l all these words or like, okay, the things that we digest, you know, like, far as, uh, fantasy. Superman. Kal-El.

00:19:46 Erica: Yeah.

00:19:46 Courtney: Jor-El.

00:19:47 Erica: Yeah.

00:19:48 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? It all. It all represents this thing of power. It always has. You know what I'm saying?

00:19:55 Erica: Yeah.

00:19:55 Courtney: You know, or even, like, you know, um, like something as simple as, like, Allah. Anything that starts with al, it always invokes this, this thing of power. It always has.

00:20:09 Erica: This power and energy.

00:20:10 Courtney: Power and energy. You know what I'm saying? Whether it begin with it or it ended with it or even or even other words, you know what I'm saying? Like on like continuous. It's a turn on to light, you know what I'm saying? Or now this is another one. Like Students of Life. It has. It has Sol solar Sol. You know, you know, you know, things like that. And it means to rise, you know what I'm saying? But in terminology as well, like RA, you know, African term sun god. Sun God means to rise. And so like the word radiate, it's not just something that that just happened.

00:20:54 Erica: Well, you know.

00:20:54 Courtney: It was deliberate.

00:20:55 Erica: It was there's also a reason why the word radiate is only used for things that are that are glowing.

00:21:01 Courtney: Right.

00:21:02 Erica: You radiate light, right. Or. Oh my God, your your face is so gorgeous. You're you're radiating beauty. There's a reason why. But people often, like you said in the beginning, people often forget where these words come from.

00:21:14 Courtney: And the meaning. So say, for instance, what it's attached to means a lot.

00:21:18 Erica: It does.

00:21:21 Courtney: Or this one right here. Words have power. Even with names. Nobody ain't going to like this one. But I'm going to say it.

00:21:30 Erica: But it's that you get us canceled.

00:21:31 Courtney: I'm not going to get us canceled. Okay, but think about this. When we talk about combining, you know, like, like, say things like El Ras and all these things. Say you combine them. This one would be El and on. What does that spell?

00:21:48 Erica: What about Ellen? What? What are we doing?

00:21:50 Courtney: The thing is, it's power. And how his name was even constructed. And you see.

00:21:54 Erica: Who he is and what he.

00:21:55 Courtney: Who he is and what he became. You know what I'm saying?

00:21:59 Erica: Mhm. Yeah.

00:22:01 Courtney: The combination of those words and then you see the outcome of him.

00:22:05 Erica: Yeah.

00:22:07 Courtney: So there are power in words that always has been. And the other part would be this what happens when you put s in front of word. What do you have? Exactly. And it will cut you to death.

00:22:25 Erica: What? You know. What's the saying, Courtney? That the pen is mightier than the sword.

00:22:31 Courtney: Yes.

00:22:32 Erica: Spelling?

00:22:33 Courtney: Yes. Spelling. Right.

00:22:35 Erica: Yeah.

00:22:35 Courtney: You know, so these things has power. We just can't forget where they came from. Yeah. And so this right now, right here is for those who listen, go back and start remembering these things came from. Don't let the world make you forget that these things are meaningless or that they're empty. They're not. And they never have, and they never will be. You know, we've been shaped by by words, even if we never paid attention to it.

00:23:02 Erica: Mhm.

00:23:03 Courtney: You know what I'm saying. We really have.

00:23:05 Erica: Yeah. Unfortunately a lot of times though the shit that we're shaped by is normally involving some sort of hate. You know as a mayor. Well I'm not just America, it's just the world in general. Right. The world has become a very ugly place. Um. Um.

00:23:24 Courtney: What is it?

00:23:25 Erica: I'm just saying, you know, people often say that. That words have no power, but something that's something as simple as words. Had JFK killed? Something as simple as words had MLK killed? Something as simple as words. Had Malcolm X killed and Mega Evers. And the list can go on and on and on. Yeah, on the flip side of that, those were great men speaking about great things just so happened, you know, here recently, words had Charlie Kirk killed.

00:23:56 Courtney: They did.

00:23:57 Erica: That's what happens. You know what I mean? And I don't care who disagrees. But he was not a good guy.

00:24:03 Courtney: You know, it's words like those. And this is the part it's not just the part, but it definitely does piss me off because it's pissing me off for for a while. Because it's Is not a new tactic, and it's a tactic of lying to me in my damn face and to everybody else's face and everybody else believing it. You know, that pisses me off. Like, say, for instance. Um, we'll just use, like, the, um, like the, um, like like the southern strategy, for instance.

00:24:35 Erica: Okay.

00:24:36 Courtney: You know, um, you know, like, you know, for what was it, Jim Crow? It was Nixon. And then it went on, who was who was after Nixon? Was it Reagan or something like that?

00:24:46 Erica: Yeah, I think so.

00:24:46 Courtney: That that came after that?

00:24:47 Erica: I think.

00:24:48 Courtney: So. Yeah. And they just carried it on. But the southern strategy was very racial in what it was and how it spoke.

00:24:56 Erica: It still is today.

00:24:57 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? So it was the racial I mean, the Southern strategy was racial in its, you know, in its language, in how it did it. It never said anything deliberately racist. No, but it was always disguised to speak to those who were racist and, uh, and who was disgruntled with how things were going as far as the the segregation or desegregation. Things like that. That's what happened. So those words were not meant for everyone. Those words were meant for who they were meant for.

00:25:28 Erica: Well, that's no different than, uh, January the sixth, right? You know, you had those of us saying, hey, nobody's really going to freak and storm the Capitol. There's no way that people will really do that shit. And lo and behold, what the hell happened? There were, quote unquote. And I'm using this term very lightly. There were believers who hung on that man's every damn word.

00:25:52 Courtney: Yeah.

00:25:53 Erica: Who believed what he said come hell or high water? Yep. And they literally committed treason.

00:25:59 Courtney: Like this right here. These are the words he said. Fight like hell or you won't have a country anymore. We would never concede. Be there will be wild. Yeah. That was his words.

00:26:13 Erica: Yeah.

00:26:14 Courtney: That's what those words did.

00:26:16 Erica: Yeah. You know, and and, you know, and let's not forget those.

00:26:21 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? Stuff like that.

00:26:23 Erica: But those same words. I'm laughing because it's funny because, uh, here recently, I don't know if you remember or not, if you heard about it, but the Proud Boys showed up to the to Tsu campus. For those of you who don't know, that's Tennessee State University and it is HBCU, right? It's a historically black college and university. Um, so this group of racist white guys thought it was a good idea to come and spew hate at an HBCU where there's one hundred percent black educators are black administration is, for the most part, black. Um, students are black. So they thought it was cool to come and spew hate. Uh, those fellas left with a well whooped ass. And not only that, some of their cars were stolen and broken into Just to prove a point. You cannot say what you want to say and think that nothing will happen to you. You're not invincible and whatever happens is your own fault. Because again, as we've been saying, the words that you spew out of your damn mouth, there are consequences and repercussions to those every day. Every day. You know, and people are getting to a point to where. People are now chanting things like, we are not our ancestors. We are not our grandparents. We are not our parents. And you know, that's that's true. That's true. But on the flip side of that, you know, when you speak about hate, you can't leave out self-hate, right? Because degrading yourself.

00:28:05 Courtney: Well we good self-hate right.

00:28:09 Erica: Is is just as bad if not worse.

00:28:11 Courtney: It is, it is, but it. I don't know exactly how to address it because it does anger me a lot, you know? But it's the what we were just talking about because we're going to get into the self hate.

00:28:28 Erica: Okay.

00:28:29 Courtney: But this entire, you know, using, you know, you know, like the southern strategy, for example, when we was talking about that, you know, how they saying one thing but it really means another.

00:28:41 Erica: Yeah.

00:28:42 Courtney: Or even like with this whole Charlie Kirk thing. Oh, I'm not racist. But if I get on a on a on a plane, I need to. I wonder if if, if, if he's qualified.

00:28:53 Erica: Yeah.

00:28:54 Courtney: It's stuff like that. Then I say, but I'm not racist though.

00:28:57 Erica: Mhm.

00:28:58 Courtney: Then you got all the black people in some instances say no he's, he's really not where they agree with it.

00:29:03 Erica: Mhm. That pisses me off.

00:29:06 Courtney: And so I still sit stay stand on this is that these words may not be for a specific audience, but they are for somebody. They offer the people who need to hear it, who's going to to do something and use it as a, as a, as a catalyst, as leverage to get their point across and not a such a happy or vibrant way.

00:29:31 Erica: Yeah.

00:29:32 Courtney: You know, it's going to be some hate behind it because that's because the words are hateful.

00:29:36 Erica: Well, that's the purpose, right?

00:29:38 Courtney: That is the purpose. Yeah, but it's disguised as as political rhetoric. You know what I'm saying? It's disguised as political rhetoric, but it's really spewing hate.

00:29:49 Erica: Yeah.

00:29:50 Courtney: You know, so things like that, really, it angers the hell out of me. And it does at the same time go into, you know, self-hate as well, you know, because say, for instance, those people who believe that you can't believe me, make me believe that they care about themselves like that. When you have that kind of hate in you.

00:30:14 Erica: Oh, there's no way.

00:30:15 Courtney: You can't you you have some some, uh, some, some issues of how you view yourself and the world outside of you because how they view the world is a personal issue, too.

00:30:27 Erica: Yeah.

00:30:27 Courtney: Because that is a reflection of how they see themselves on the inside in some way to.

00:30:32 Erica: It's a mirror. It's like, hold up a mirror to yourself. That's exactly what it is. You know how, like, um, what can I say, I guess. Okay. This is going to sound bad, but, um, most of the people who who most of the people who follow, like Charlie Kirk and this current administration, they are the bottom of the barrel of the US. That's the nicest way I can put that. These are not educated people. These are not people who, for the most part. Let me clarify. For the most part, these are not people who have shit high school diplomas, let alone college degrees. You know what I mean? So being ignorant alone is their is their initial downfall, you know, because you now have these people who have someone addressing them and acknowledging them and saying, I see you, I see you, I see you when they're not intelligent enough to realize that they're only saying, I see you to get to get something from you. They don't give a damn about you. If them canceling snap benefits don't prove that, then I don't. I don't know what else will you know.

00:31:47 Courtney: And another historical reference. I don't remember the quote exactly, so I won't butcher it. But it's even how Adolf Hitler used, you know, in his speeches, he talked about propaganda and how it can be used and Leveraged, and it can make people who are, um, good, good people something like that. You know, make good people believe in bad things and vice versa.

00:32:17 Erica: I know exactly. Yes.

00:32:18 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? Yes, yes. So he was even talking about how to leverage propaganda to, to to manipulate, to hurt, to damage. And also his rhetoric was used to dehumanize an entire race of people.

00:32:35 Erica: Mhm.

00:32:36 Courtney: You know what I'm saying?

00:32:37 Erica: They did nothing but exist, by the way.

00:32:38 Courtney: That's all they did. And that to me is exactly was the playbook that they used for, for Jim Crow because that was the playbook.

00:32:50 Erica: It's still being used today.

00:32:51 Courtney: And it's still being used today. But say for instance that close they still use that playbook to do dehumanize an entire race of people here in America.

00:33:00 Erica: And it's still happening today.

00:33:02 Courtney: But now things evolve and it shifts. And so now they learn how to use language words to manipulate. And, and coerce people into doing things that not not necessarily so, so uplifting.

00:33:21 Erica: That's a nice way to put that. You know, I like how you did that.

00:33:24 Courtney: You know, so to say.

00:33:25 Erica: Yeah.

00:33:25 Courtney: And it's been damaging for a very long time. And it hadn't changed. It just evolved. On how we had these discussions and and how these words were used to coerce people into doing other things or to make alliances that originally wouldn't have happened if they didn't use language to still get their point across, because that's really what this is about. It's about making alliances.

00:33:51 Erica: Mhm.

00:33:52 Courtney: I'm speaking, but I'm only speaking to a certain select few people who need to hear what I'm saying.

00:33:59 Erica: Well the, those that I'm speaking to know who they are.

00:34:01 Courtney: Right. You know, so This isn't new about how to use language. Matter of fact, how the majority of us have been manipulated with with, uh, with marketing. This is what marketing is today. We think words don't have power, but at the same time, what happens is with these marketing campaigns, they convince us to buy things that we don't even need majority of the time every day.

00:34:27 Erica: That's why Amazon and Walmart are such conglomerates every day, every day. Or that's why we eat bacon for breakfast.

00:34:33 Courtney: No, it's exactly why we eat bacon for breakfast. There was a marketing ploy to buy, uh, by Edward Bernays, Sigmund Freud's nephew.

00:34:41 Erica: Yeah.

00:34:43 Courtney: I'll never forget it. You know, when I read it, uh, I can't remember the name of his book, but I'll post it. And he said that. Let's put it like this. What ended up happening was, uh, the industry of of the pork industry needed a a lifting up is what it needed. And so he ran a campaign that said, I will make sure that everyone eats bacon for breakfast. So the campaign was centered around bacon for breakfast. And since the early nineteen hundreds, had to be like around nineteen thirties. We've been eating bacon for breakfast for now, almost one hundred years.

00:35:27 Erica: Yep.

00:35:29 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? We are we we we're shy of, you know, a few years, about a decade or so, but it's almost one hundred years of eating bacon for breakfast now. And we fueled the industry for over for almost one hundred years now. But that's what the power of marketing and constructing words to manipulate people into doing things that's not even good for them. And they did that because no one was buying it, because they thought that the pig was a filthy animal anyway. And that was the issue with selling bacon or to sell pig, you know, as far as the industry is concerned. Anyway, that's what happened. And so they turned what was a filthy thing, what people considered a filthy thing into a quality thing. Marketing was powerful. Always has been, always will be. And so marketing is nothing but words constructed in a specific way to get a result that benefited an industry or a group of people. That's what it was. Or as if we would say, you know, like in the magic world spell. It was a spell on the people to do something. And it worked. It was constructed in a certain way. The words were to get a result. Power in it.

00:36:48 Erica: You know, um, I love that you brought that up. Marketing. Because marketing and, um, politics are the exact same thing.

00:36:58 Courtney: Yeah.

00:36:59 Erica: Um, you know, and speaking of words being spells and things like that, you keep hearing the same political ads over and over again. You hear them on the radio, you see them on TV. Uh, sometimes, depending on what podcast you listen to. They show up there to, you know, ads for, for political, um, people or not. But what happens here is you hear them so much that you start to believe it because they literally put you under a damn spell. And that's not me speaking in a roundabout way. No, I'm being frank. I mean exactly what I say. You know, it's everywhere you go, like you said, bacon for breakfast, Trump for President Kamala for President Biden for President Obama for president. You know, you hear them everywhere. And then and it appeals to some part of you to some part of your psyche, right? It makes you feel some kind of way. It makes you feel good. But then, you know, on the flip side, that also makes me wonder what part of of people or your psyche do you have to hit for you to believe that our our current leader was a good choice? That's a question that I continue to ask everybody. What was it? Was it just that you kept hearing it over and over and over again? Was it that you heard the crowd chanting the same thing over and over and over again? You got hypnotized by it. Is that what it was?

00:38:29 Courtney: I think it was a combination of things. I think it was a combination of things. Do I know every combination? No, but I believe there was a combination.

00:38:39 Erica: I don't doubt that at all.

00:38:40 Courtney: And, um, because it doesn't work when it's only one thing. It's not too much different. It's, um. What happens is it really doesn't matter how it happens, But it's like how we learn. You know, like, say, for instance, if we really want to remember something, we do, you can do, you know, like a form of repetition. You know, you read it, write it and listen to it. It doesn't work too much different than for something to be programmed into your mind. You know what I'm saying? You know. So say, for instance, you hear it. You know, you hear it all the time.

00:39:21 Erica: You see it on billboards.

00:39:22 Courtney: You see it on billboards, more so social media.

00:39:25 Erica: Yeah.

00:39:26 Courtney: And that's really the, the power in that one.

00:39:29 Erica: Yeah.

00:39:30 Courtney: And then I think this is the more, uh, harsher reality. Excuse me is that it speaks to a part of ourself that we never want to say out loud.

00:39:43 Erica: That we keep locked away.

00:39:44 Courtney: They do the speaking for us, and we just attach ourselves to it.

00:39:48 Erica: So what you're saying is, to piggyback off of a previous episode, they speak to the third mask.

00:39:52 Courtney: They do.

00:39:53 Erica: They speak.

00:39:54 Courtney: They speak those words and how it was constructed and where it's placed deliberately, you know, because these things are very deliberate.

00:40:01 Erica: Absolutely.

00:40:02 Courtney: These people who are marketing it aren't just working for advertising agencies. We are talking about scientists and psychologists.

00:40:10 Erica: Scientists, yes. Together, political strategists come together to make these things happen.

00:40:13 Courtney: To make these things.

00:40:13 Erica: Happen. Yes.

00:40:14 Courtney: And so, like I say, it's a combination of things. It wasn't just one thing because one thing by itself was never good enough.

00:40:22 Erica: Well, it wasn't enough, period.

00:40:23 Courtney: It was not enough.

00:40:24 Erica: Yeah.

00:40:25 Courtney: So it definitely, for one, had to have been repetitive. You had to see it enough. And then, like I say, the other part of that was definitely it had to speak to a to a deeper part of yourself too.

00:40:37 Erica: Well, you know, I.

00:40:40 Courtney: It uncovered it.

00:40:43 Erica: I'm glad you said that because it makes me think about, um, you know how I don't know about you, but I've been hit by words that didn't necessarily leave bruises, But they left some marks. I still feel there are some scars that were left behind. And you know, I'm not innocent myself. I have I have said words that I know have broken, people that have caused damage, that have left people with scars that they sometimes deserve, but sometimes they didn't. You know, just because in the heat of the moment, I said some some off the wall unhinged shit to somebody. Um, and I think that at some point we are all guilty of that and it happens. But in the moment when you're angry or you're frustrated or you're upset, you don't think about the power that your words have. You don't think about the long lasting effect. You know that your words will leave with people. Um, you just want people to feel what you feel. And I think a lot of that, you know, boils down to to where we are today. People feel they're not heard and they're not seen. They're not validated. So someone comes along and they say the things that that you feel like you said. You know now. You feel seen now. Now those feelings are validated. And now you're like, oh, this is the way I should go. But on the flip side of that, words can also be tools for growth.

00:42:05 Courtney: It can. But it was like, um, I just give an example like, um, we was talking about politics, but just three words. Yes we can. You know what I'm saying?

00:42:19 Erica: I miss those.

00:42:20 Courtney: You know what I'm saying?

00:42:21 Erica: I miss that time.

00:42:22 Courtney: That rallied a country to to not necessarily just greatness, but to be inspired.

00:42:29 Erica: To grow together.

00:42:31 Courtney: Together.

00:42:32 Erica: That's that's the key word there. Yes. We can. Together.

00:42:35 Courtney: Together.

00:42:36 Erica: Yeah.

00:42:37 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? Hope. Although, you know what? I love marketing, and I get it. You know what I'm saying? It was some genius people who was behind that. Damn, they were good. You know, or just the words hope and with the American flag in it.

00:42:52 Erica: But you know what's beautiful about that, though? Even. Even today. As soon as you said that, I smiled.

00:42:57 Courtney: Right.

00:42:58 Erica: Because I remember that.

00:43:00 Courtney: Yeah. Yes. We can.

00:43:01 Erica: Yeah.

00:43:02 Courtney: And I still believe that.

00:43:03 Erica: Yeah.

00:43:04 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? You know, regardless of the, um, the darkness that, you know, um, that's inside of us, we still have some light inside of us. And we can't be. Better. Than what? Than what we think or believe that we ever could be.

00:43:19 Erica: Oh, absolutely.

00:43:20 Courtney: It's still there. It's always there. We we don't have to stay or, you know, resonate with the side that say, for instance, the political parties today and how they bring the the bad side out of people. You know, we have words too, that inspire, that do greatness, that make people become, want to become and do better than what they've ever done before. And it's words like that that I still remember, like, far as political is concerned.

00:43:49 Erica: Oh, yeah.

00:43:49 Courtney: But and just the political things. What about the ones in my life?

00:43:54 Erica: Yeah.

00:43:54 Courtney: You know, like our everyday life. Well, well, say, for instance, like. Like with you.

00:43:59 Erica: With me?

00:44:00 Courtney: Yeah.

00:44:00 Erica: What did I do? I feel like it's gonna be a story time. What do I do?

00:44:04 Courtney: You walk backwards up the hill.

00:44:06 Erica: I did, I did, I did.

00:44:08 Courtney: Yeah. It's like that one.

00:44:10 Erica: I did, yeah. So there's a story there. Um, so Courtney and I recently have, um, started cardio, uh, to be one hundred. Y'all, I loathe it. I will do weight training all day long with a smile on my face. I don't care how bad it hurts, but, um, our neighborhood is rather hilly, and I was like, Courtney. Oh, why are we starting out walking up a hill? And I was. I was dreading it, you know, because because you tell yourself, well, you look at it as some kind of adversity, right? Like, shit, I gotta do this. But in that moment, my husband being who he is, that's why I love him so much. He was like, turn around. And I'm like, we're going back home. And he was like, hell no. Turn around. I got excited like, oh, okay, cool, we're done. But no, no, you told me to turn around and walk backwards. And I was like, that is crazy. And I laughed all the way up the hill. But but the key thing was when I walked up the hill and got to the stop sign backwards, I didn't have labored breathing at all, and I laughed and talked to you all the way up the hill.

00:45:19 Courtney: Yes you did.

00:45:20 Erica: Now, had I been facing that hill, I probably would have died halfway through it. Yeah, like heart rate would have been up. My watch would have been like, hey, you need to sit down.

00:45:29 Courtney: Yeah.

00:45:30 Erica: But it didn't happen like I was. We're laughing. We were laughing and talking up the hill like we are right now. And I was perfectly fine. And I laughed the whole way through that mile and whatever walk we had, because I was like, I cannot believe that just worked. And not only did it worked at one time, we had to go up three damn hills.

00:45:47 Courtney: Yeah, that was pretty steep.

00:45:48 Erica: And every time all I could do was laugh and giggle up the damn hill because I could not believe it worked. But that's the power of words, though, right?

00:45:55 Courtney: It is.

00:45:56 Erica: You know, that's me telling myself these heels are terrible. These heels suck. I don't want to do this. But literally all I did was change my perspective. That's all it was. It was a literal, physical change of perspective.

00:46:11 Courtney: And so what happened was you were no longer walking up a hill.

00:46:15 Erica: I was looking down the hill.

00:46:16 Courtney: Just looking down the hill.

00:46:17 Erica: And it didn't bother me at all.

00:46:18 Courtney: Right. And so that's how words shape how we see things in ourselves. Because the moment you look up at something, you see it as a challenge or.

00:46:29 Erica: An obstacle.

00:46:29 Courtney: An obstacle or a barrier in some way. Yeah. But the moment you look down at it, it's not a daunting task anymore.

00:46:36 Erica: No, I think I'm going to forever laugh at that, though.

00:46:39 Courtney: Yeah.

00:46:39 Erica: That will forever be funny to me.

00:46:41 Courtney: Because that's what it's about. We have to change how we see things and how we use the words against ourselves. Because you started to talk about earlier, about, you know, the language in itself?

00:46:52 Erica: Yes.

00:46:52 Courtney: And how we talk about how we talk to ourselves. And when you are always walking up hills or you knew you had to face one.

00:47:01 Erica: Hills or steps.

00:47:02 Courtney: Hills or steps, you always talked about it in a very negative way. Off the top.

00:47:06 Erica: Mhm.

00:47:07 Courtney: You're like I can't do it. I don't want to do it.

00:47:09 Erica: Mhm.

00:47:09 Courtney: And the mind. But this is the thing about again spells you know whether it's gospel or whether it's magical in the more magical sense of it.

00:47:21 Erica: Physical way.

00:47:22 Courtney: The metaphysical correct way, you know it's still a spell. And anything that you do consistently enough rewires how you see it.

00:47:33 Erica: Mhm.

00:47:33 Courtney: It rewires it for you to see it just that way. And it becomes a, a response throughout your nervous system for it to only be that way. And it takes a while to rewire it. And so in that instance right there, I already knew what the issue was, which is why I say, hey, turn around, walk, walk backwards because you had to see it literally one eighty.

00:47:58 Erica: I did.

00:47:59 Courtney: For it to work.

00:48:00 Erica: Yeah. You know, but it.

00:48:02 Courtney: Couldn't be a, it couldn't be any close association with you seeing it as an adversity.

00:48:07 Erica: We couldn't side step up that hill. It had to be backwards.

00:48:10 Courtney: It had to be backwards.

00:48:11 Erica: Because side step, I could turn my head to the right and be like, oh.

00:48:14 Courtney: Correct.

00:48:15 Erica: Yeah.

00:48:16 Courtney: Yeah, it is correct. And so it was a rewiring for you to have to see it totally different, because that's the only thing that was going to work to make you not see that hill as challenging or any hill is challenging, because now you know this right here. It was never walking up the hill. That was the problem. No, it was you.

00:48:36 Erica: It was me.

00:48:37 Courtney: It was you.

00:48:38 Erica: But you know what's beautiful about that, though, even in that moment, you know, and this is why I speak so highly about, you know, our relationship and you even in that moment. This is why it matters who you marry, ladies. Even in that moment. Right? It was an opportunity for growth for myself that I didn't think was possible, you know. And by growth, I mean the box that I put myself in. You didn't just lift the lid. You kind of just blew it out of the way, like you blew the box up, because now I can't say, well, I can't do that, because now what I'm going to say that for, because you're going to say you did it three times in one day. Stop lying. Get your lazy ass up and let's go. Yeah, that's that's how the conversation is literally going to go. And what do I say to that? Because you're right, you know. So but in that moment you were able to help me break out of a box that I put myself in. I didn't even realize I put myself into.

00:49:29 Courtney: But I knew it, you know, I knew it, you know? But I was happy that I could help you see that not only move that obstacle out the way, but it changed how you looked at a lot of other things too.

00:49:45 Erica: It did because I have been reevaluating shit since that day. But that's that's who I am, though. You know what I mean? Like one. One simple instance. One simple scenario. Now I read question everything and I reframe how I look at everything because it's really that simple. But that was also a moment of encouragement, motivation and leadership because I'm willing to let someone else lead me to a better outcome.

00:50:08 Courtney: Yeah.

00:50:08 Erica: You know, but you have to be able to be willing to do that for that kind of thing to work, you know? And it's no different than what you just said, right? Yes, we can.

00:50:17 Courtney: Yes we can.

00:50:18 Erica: And we did.

00:50:18 Courtney: And also, you know what I always say, if there's a challenge.

00:50:23 Erica: There's a solution.

00:50:24 Courtney: There's a solution. But look at it. The power of words though.

00:50:28 Erica: Yeah.

00:50:29 Courtney: Like say for instance, you know, challenge. Then we got the word soul in it. Soul lution. It means to rise, become better.

00:50:37 Erica: And I did.

00:50:38 Courtney: The same thing you did as a challenge, as a solution.

00:50:42 Erica: You know, it's also like speaking about, you know, words of encouragement and motivation. We have a son who's a gamer. He is a young gamer. And, uh, his current obstacle is Sonic Frontiers. Sonic whoops his ass. Yeah, but, you know, like, I'm not I'm not a gamer at all. Right. But what I will do is I will sit with him and I will encourage him and tell him, Xavier, you can do that. Look. Look at the screen. What did they tell you to push? You know, and nine times out of ten, he gets it. The tenth time he don't, he goes find daddy. Daddy, do this for me. But that. That's where the leadership portion comes in, right? Like, I can encourage I can motivate, but I'm not a gamer. So daddy comes in for that last part. You show him, you lead him and show him how it can be done. Yeah. Right. Um, but I also think that, you know, when you speak about encouragement, motivation and leadership for anybody that has a teenage child who bless you. But, um. Teenagers are not for the weak. We are learning that every day. But, um, you know that that phrase. And I'm going to keep going back to it. But that phrase, yes, we can. It's you have to show these kids what they can do the same way you took me out of my box. It's our obligation to do that, you know, with with our kids or just really our house is always full of kids because our daughters friends love us, so they're always here. But anytime you have a moment to speak to young people, that's what you do, right? You know, you motivate them, you uplift them, you. You listen to them and then you show them what can be done. And you are a great example of that, especially with, you know, our nieces and our nephew, especially our nephew, because I don't think he would tell you there's a better man walking than you. Honestly, he really believes that. But that's because you've never switched up on him. You've never changed on him. You've always been a constant.

00:52:52 Courtney: But also, you know, whether it's him, you know, you know, our nephew or whether it's our kids or any other kid. I'm very I'm more aware now than I ever have been over the last several years. The words that I use and the combination of the words that I use because I want to inspire them to be more, to be better, you know, than what they were before. You know, as difficult as life is, you need to have the belief in yourself that it can be done. So I never, you know, so I'm very aware of how I put words together. So when I say that, you know, if there's a challenge, there's a solution. I never leave it at it can't be done.

00:53:39 Erica: No you don't. And you get mad at me when I do.

00:53:41 Courtney: I do.

00:53:41 Erica: Get pissed.

00:53:42 Courtney: Yes, because it lingers too long. You know it. It stays at I can't or it can't be. It instantly shuts your brain off. To a solution to whatever. Whatever you're facing. And that's what we need to understand, is that there's very few things out here that exist that has no solution to it. Very few. You just may not be the person that you need to be right now to give that solution. But as long as you know there's a solution, you can always get a little bit closer to becoming that person to solve that damn problem. Like, say for instance, Einstein was not always the guy he needed to be to give us the theory of relativity.

00:54:19 Erica: He was not.

00:54:20 Courtney: He was not.

00:54:21 Erica: My boy was a barely a C student.

00:54:23 Courtney: But regardless, you know what? He wasn't always that guy. But eventually he was presented with a he had a problem.

00:54:30 Erica: Mhm.

00:54:31 Courtney: But eventually he became the person he needs to be to solve the theory of relativity.

00:54:36 Erica: Yep. And we appreciate.

00:54:38 Courtney: Him. Right. You know, he became the man he needs to be to solve the problem. So we may not be the person that we need to be to get to the resolution that we need right now, but we need to know that that person does exist, even though it's not right now. We have to understand that, and we have to understand that our words have power. How we speak to ourselves have power, and how we speak to each other. You know, it has power. So I would always want people to understand and believe that what you need to do is focus on what you say and how you say it. I'm not saying be perfect, this is not what I'm saying. But the worst case scenario could be is to deliver a painful or hurtful information to somebody. And then the next day, you're not here no more.

00:55:21 Erica: So you're saying be aware.

00:55:22 Courtney: Be aware. You have to be aware because say for instance, I say something hurtful or damaging to you, and then I don't wake up the next day or something happens where you don't see me and I can't rectify what I said, or worse.

00:55:36 Erica: What if you say something to me and I don't wake up?

00:55:39 Courtney: Correct.

00:55:40 Erica: And so the last thing you said to me was something terrible and awful.

00:55:43 Courtney: Those are things that you live with forever.

00:55:46 Erica: There's no apology that can be had for that.

00:55:47 Courtney: You can't rectify it. You can't take it back. Once they're gone, you can't say, I'm sorry no more. I've had some things that happen to me in my life where the people are gone, but.

00:56:00 Erica: The words are still.

00:56:01 Courtney: Here, but the words are still here. And you don't want to be remembered by those damaging words because they last forever. And that becomes partly of how you become remembered too.

00:56:10 Erica: Mhm.

00:56:13 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? And I say that because it's just how the brain works. We attach ourselves more so to bad things than we do the good things. And not that the good things don't matter. It's because negativity has way more power and energy than the positive things do.

00:56:31 Erica: It does.

00:56:32 Courtney: So this is why we have to be very aware of the words and the combination of words that we use, because whether it's discussed or not, these words have a certain energy. That's it's like a container.

00:56:50 Erica: It's a frequency that's used. Yes.

00:56:52 Courtney: Like words are container that encapsulates what's inside. And it's a ball of energy and it and it's still there. And so you have to understand and realize that everything you say has power to them. And the combination of those words mean a lot. So I am always aware because I don't want the people that I care about or even the people I don't know not necessarily get a bad misconception of who I am, but to misrepresent who I am because of how I misuse words. Because they're powerful.

00:57:32 Erica: They are. They are, you know, and, um, I have a question for you.

00:57:37 Courtney: Yeah. What's up?

00:57:38 Erica: So now we're talking about the power of words, but. How do you, um. How do you deal when you have said something hurtful to somebody and, you know, it was hurtful, and you know, what you said may have been wrong. It may not be true. How do you deal with that?

00:58:08 Courtney: I don't know exactly. I'll answer it like this right here. I'll say this like when I was coming up, you know, and I know I said this in a previous podcast. I can't remember which episode it was, but my mother and father literally never apologized for anything that they did wrong, ever. They never did. Or if you know, some instances, we had one of those crazy ass apologists. As in if I did. You know what I'm saying?

00:58:38 Erica: If I made you feel like.

00:58:39 Courtney: If I made you feel like it was never legit apology by taking accountability of the hurt that was caused.

00:58:45 Erica: Mhm.

00:58:46 Courtney: So I made it a very deliberate thing. It took me a while to, to really pay attention to it because it's what I said in that episode. It took me a long time to realize that I wasn't apologizing to, you know, and when I realized I'm like, damn, Courtney, you can't apologize to Erica and you hurt her for one. That changed me. That one right there changed me. It changed me because I knew I was wrong, but I couldn't say I apologize, I was wrong, I was sorry, and it literally took me two years or so, about two and a half years before it became a normal thing to address it. But the number one thing that made me truly do that because I had to start somewhere. Was with Trinity. It was with her. I knew I had to start somewhere if I couldn't do it with you. Yet I had to start somewhere. And so I know that she was young, but what I had to learn to do was like. If daddy made a mistake. Hey, baby. I'm sorry. I daddy didn't mean that. Hey, I know daddy was upset. I know he was mad, but I apologize. Blah blah blah blah blah.

00:59:57 Erica: You've always been. And now she expects that, right?

01:00:00 Courtney: But I had to do that because I can't have that to linger.

01:00:03 Erica: Mhm.

01:00:04 Courtney: You know, I can't have her believe that I don't love her or the outcome of her or her feelings or how she sees life, because I couldn't address a mistake that I made.

01:00:14 Erica: Mhm.

01:00:15 Courtney: So it started there. I'm very aware of the words that I put together and the hurt they cause. And I address it because I have to. And so when I screw up, even with you even now, today it may not be right there in the moment. I say I apologise, but real soon I'm going to tell you that that I apologise. And it all comes from the fact that I pay attention to what I say, because I understand the power of the words, and I understand that when you put words in a certain combination, they have way more power than, than anything. So it would be like, I know that a certain combination of words of, of negative, hurtful words has a lot of negative energy in it. And those things attach to you. And depending on how bad it is, you will never forget it.

01:01:11 Erica: Yeah.

01:01:13 Courtney: Sometimes words can shape the outcome of your life.

01:01:16 Erica: Yeah. You know words that are said by other people, whether we say it out loud or not, they have the power to shape who you are and who you become.

01:01:26 Courtney: Yeah, they do.

01:01:27 Erica: You know, it's very easy. And I don't say this again. I don't say this lightly, but it's very easy that the words that you say to somebody can literally make or break them. And a lot of times, unfortunately, we're out here breaking people and don't even realize it. That's dangerous.

01:01:45 Courtney: And that's because you know why?

01:01:47 Erica: Because we're broken our damn self.

01:01:49 Courtney: No. Are we? But because we believe words don't have power.

01:01:55 Erica: That's very true. It's very unfortunate.

01:01:57 Courtney: That's why we do it. We believe that words have don't have power. And we have these kitty ass ideas in our head. You know, uh, you know, um, what is the what is the quote? You know, uh.

01:02:12 Erica: Sticks and stones.

01:02:12 Courtney: Yeah. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.

01:02:16 Erica: She.

01:02:16 Courtney: That was made for kids, y'all. So if you're an adult, let that kitty shit go. Okay? Let it go. That's for your kids. It ain't even for them.

01:02:30 Erica: Not nowadays.

01:02:30 Courtney: It's not. It's not even for them.

01:02:32 Erica: Hell, no. That. That's old English.

01:02:34 Courtney: Hey, I know, I know, everybody has possibly seen Bad Boys two.

01:02:38 Erica: Oh my God. Here you go.

01:02:39 Courtney: You seen Bad Boys? Two I know you have, but it was this part in the movie when they was in the store, when Martin was talking about Will Smith's mama's breast, he said, hey, we go have your erectile issues. We go throw it in this box and my mom's titties. We go throw it in this box, too, and we go throw that at the bottom of the ocean. They go throw it in there so deep where even Jacques Cousteau can't get that. So I'm pretty sure you guys know exactly what I'm talking about right now. We go get that word. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. Words. But words will never hurt me. We go throw that, we go throw that. That phrase in the box. We go wrap a chain around it and we go throw it down there in the Mariana Trench. Okay.

01:03:22 Erica: Oh, it's going down there with Megatron, huh?

01:03:24 Courtney: Yeah. No. Yeah. And and and the Kraken too, because I know he down there.

01:03:28 Erica: Oh my God, you damn Kraken!

01:03:30 Courtney: Yes. So that's the whole point, though. We're gonna throw that word down. Down in the deep. But because words.

01:03:38 Erica: Absolutely.

01:03:39 Courtney: Do hurt and they do break.

01:03:42 Erica: You know, and I think what I, what I want people to know and to remember is. You don't have to be a speaker to speak life. Every text, every comment, every conversation. That's your platform. You don't have to have one hundred thousand followers or a million followers. Your platform is literally anywhere you speak. Anytime you text somebody, it's a platform. Anytime you become a keyboard gangster on Facebook or Threads or X, that's your platform. It doesn't matter how many followers you have. The fact is, you have a space to say what you want to say, so just choose your words wisely. You don't have to be an asshole all the time. Um, And, you know, speaking of rays of sunshine, as you were saying earlier, you ever noticed, Courtney, how I do? Well, I do the strangers a lot, but you know how, like, um, a simple compliment from someone you don't know can shift your whole day. You could have a shit day, but somebody could walk by and say, you look nice or damn, you smell good. And your shit day now has a rainbow over it. Yeah, that that storm, the storm clouds break a little bit. And you have, you know, an an air of sunshine. Um, so just imagine, you know what, what constant positivity could look like when you're speaking. You could have rainbows and sunshine every day.

01:05:12 Courtney: You can. But we have to, um, be very deliberate and make it almost second nature to just speak positivity. Not necessarily just positivity, but we have to speak better to ourselves and to and to one another, because those words have always had power from the beginning of time. They've always meant something. You know, they always were there to inspire good things to happen out of people.

01:05:42 Erica: Yeah.

01:05:44 Courtney: That's what they were always there for.

01:05:46 Erica: Yeah.

01:05:46 Courtney: You know, to to become better than what you were. You know, like, uh, even like, say, for instance, the representation of Jesus Christ and the words that he used, he used those words because he had and knew that there was power and what he was discussing to galvanize people to be better people.

01:06:06 Erica: Yep.

01:06:07 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? Or we're talking about, like, the guys that we that we follow like the Martin Luther King, you know what I'm saying? Although he was non-violent, but his words galvanized people that brought people together.

01:06:19 Erica: It did.

01:06:20 Courtney: Gandhi. His words brought people together.

01:06:22 Erica: Mother Teresa.

01:06:24 Courtney: You know what I'm saying? Brought people together.

01:06:25 Erica: Yeah.

01:06:26 Courtney: You know, you know, or, you know, um, it's not in sequential order or anything, but say, for instance, like Buddha, he had followers because of what he represented. And you can, you know, and it was so many people even today, you know, like, I'll just use an example, you know, we don't have to use like, those types of historical references. But you have like a Tony Robbins, for example.

01:06:51 Erica: Eric Thomas.

01:06:52 Courtney: You know, Eric Thomas, you know what I'm saying? These people speak life.

01:06:56 Erica: Mhm.

01:06:56 Courtney: That's what they do. You know, they understand and they use that gift to inspire the world. you know, they don't use it to tear it down. And I would really want everyone to just be very deliberate in being able to be a little bit more aware and conscious of what you put out. Be more aware of how you talk to your wife. Be more aware how you talk to your husband. Be more aware of how you talk to your kids, because those words can either be life or death, and not literally, but figuratively.

01:07:34 Erica: I have a challenge for our community.

01:07:37 Courtney: Yeah? What's that?

01:07:38 Erica: All right. You ready?

01:07:39 Courtney: I'm ready.

01:07:40 Erica: All right, so, you guys.

01:07:41 Courtney: Are you ready?

01:07:42 Erica: Your challenge for this week. And, um, I have two challenges for you this week, actually. Challenge number one, go to Facebook. Find the Students of Life podcast, inner circle two. The number two is behind it. It's a public group. Like it? Join it. It's public. We don't have to let you in. Um, that's number one. Number two, I want you to catch yourself in the act. One negative thought, one harsh word. Flip it. Speak something that builds instead of something that breaks. Come to our group and tell us how it shifted you.

01:08:21 Courtney: All right, you guys, I got one more thing that I want to say. That I created a notebook that's called the think book that teaches you how to take better notes. So I will put that inside of the, um, the show notes so that anybody that wants to go to to the to the link and purchase it, it'll be greatly appreciated. Okay. But with that being said, this has been the Students of Life podcast. Thanks everyone for listening. Live and learn. Life is a lesson.

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